INFJ and INFP Fear of Being Seen

Lauren Sapala
3 min readAug 19, 2024

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INFJ personality types and INFP personality types both have the common fear of being seen by others. Both INFJ personality types and INFP personality types also crave being seen by others. We most often experience a fear of being seen because on some level we know that to be seen is also to be “mis-seen,” which means that other people will attach their stories and projections onto us.

Because INFJ personality types and INFP personality types tend to be internalizers (meaning we internalize most things and blame ourselves for most things) we also tend to take responsibility for the projections of others. If someone misunderstands us, or judges us unfairly, we feel this very acutely, and we also feel the need to fix it, or to correct their judgment. When we take our place in the spotlight, it become impossible to make sure that every single person sees us accurately and does not project anything onto us.

Part of becoming comfortable with being seen is to understand that being seen is a learning process. It is not something that happens all at once. In order to heal our wound of not being seen, we must take baby steps and move out of our comfort zone little by little. We must experiment with each new level of being seen by people, and practice detaching from the stories and the projections they put on us. The more we can detach from others’ reactions, opinions, and stories, the easier it will be for us to let ourselves be seen by others.

I talk more about this in the video below:

I’m teaching a new class starting August 28 called Healing the Wounded Healer, and we’ll be exploring the wound of not being seen and how to heal that wound so that we can fully activate our gifts as healers in the world.

In Healing the Wounded Healer we’ll be talking about:

Finding balance with our healing/empath gifts

Reclaiming our voice and our truth (especially in relationships)

How to deal with low-vibration people and situations

Healing deep levels of personal shame

Make sure you SUBSCRIBE to my newsletter HERE to get the next video in this series, and all the updates on when registration for Healing the Wounded Healer opens, and please also SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel here to get more videos on creativity, intuition, and life as an intuitive personality type. If you have any questions about the class, you can send them to me here.

I’ll see you soon with the next video in this series: Why INFJs and INFPs Don’t Fit In.

Lauren Sapala is the author of Writing on the Intuitive Side of the Brain, The INFJ Writer, The INFJ Revolution, and the creator of Energy and Intuition for INFJs, an online course for INFJs on intuition, relationships, creativity, and more. She is also currently offering a free copy of her book Firefly Magic: Heart Powered Marketing for Highly Sensitive Writers to anyone who signs up for her newsletter. SIGN UP HERE to get your free copy.

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Lauren Sapala
Lauren Sapala

Written by Lauren Sapala

Writer. Writing Coach. Author of The INFJ Writer: Cracking the Creative Genius of the World’s Rarest Type. www.laurensapala.com

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