INFJs, INFPs, and Survival Archetypes

Lauren Sapala
3 min readJun 5, 2024

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Many INFJs and INFPs grow up with trauma due to being raised in a situation where the entire family has narcissistic dynamics at play, or dealing with just one caregiver or sibling who is narcissistic, codependent, or consistently violates boundaries. The ongoing trauma that INFJs and INFPs suffer in their household as they are growing up often pushes them to live primarily from the role of a survival archetype.

Two of the most common survival archetypes for INFJs and INFPs are the prostitute and the wounded child. When we live through the prostitute archetype we regularly “sell” some part of ourselves in exchange for security. We may go through a series of jobs where we are exploited, or we may be used by a partner for money, or we may feel like we have to stay with a partner for money.

With the wounded child archetype, we feel we can’t express our needs in relationships and we consistently silence our needs in order not to inconvenience others or demand too much from them. We may also tolerate abuse in exchange for “love,” and experience a series of abusive relationships, or engage in mental or physical self-harm.

In midlife, INFJs and INFPs tend to go through huge identity shifts and our main survival archetype falls away. We may be left feeling confused, exposed, and very alone, as we begin to ask ourselves: What’s next? Where do I go from here?

I talk more about this in the video below:

I’m teaching a new class all about the midlife transition and how it unfolds for INFJs and INFPs. It’s called “Midlife Awakening” and it begins on Wed June 12.

I got the inspiration to teach this class because I sent out an email to my audience and asked, “What should I teach next?” Overwhelmingly, people said they wanted a class on midlife transitions and midlife awakening. So, I designed this class to answer that need.

Although the class will be geared toward people who are currently experiencing a “midlife awakening” (people in their late 30s, 40s, and 50s), or a “late-life awakening” (people in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond), there is actually no age requirement to join the class. All ages are welcome.

I’m hoping this class will shed light on some of the more hidden facets of the midlife transition for intuitive personality types and also help bring people together so that we can support each other as we make this journey.

Make sure you SUBSCRIBE to my newsletter HERE to get the next video in this series, and all the updates on when registration for Midlife Awakening opens, and please also SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel here to get more videos on life as an INFJ or INFP. If you have any questions about the class, you can send them to me here.

I’ll see you soon with the next video in this series: Do INF Types Live Odd Lifestyles?

Lauren Sapala is the author of Writing on the Intuitive Side of the Brain, The INFJ Writer, The INFJ Revolution, and the creator of Energy and Intuition for INFJs, an online course for INFJs on intuition, relationships, creativity, and more. She is also currently offering a free copy of her book Firefly Magic: Heart Powered Marketing for Highly Sensitive Writers to anyone who signs up for her newsletter. SIGN UP HERE to get your free copy.

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Lauren Sapala

Writer. Writing Coach. Author of The INFJ Writer: Cracking the Creative Genius of the World’s Rarest Type. www.laurensapala.com